This post was extremely hard to write

I went through a dark time the week of December 28, 2015. I was unemployed for 7 months. I became excited about a job interview I had scheduled at a place I was really looking forward to working. On December 29, I went to my interview full of excitement. By 5pm that day I was suicidal. My interview did not go well. It was so bad I almost left several times but instead I suffered through it . I won’t go into detail because of the triggers.

This suicidal thought scared me. It was the first time I actually had planned the way I would end my life and place to do it. I laid in bed and cried for hours.

Somehow I didn’t end up killing myself. I decided I would spend the day in bed and watch Ghost Adventures all day. I have been fine ever since. I can’t explain why it helped but it did. I have been a fan of the show since it first started.

I can honestly say I am fine now. There are still triggers for me every time I drive past the location where I had thought I would end my life. Also, an episode of Ghost Adventures triggered me. It was a very hard episode to watch especially when they described how the woman killed herself.

If you or someone you know feels hopeless or like they have no reason to live, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for help and support. Source: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Just because spending a day watching TV has helped me does not mean it would help you. If you are struggling get help. It was hard for me to deal with on my own I had wished I had asked for help. I would not wish that feeling on anyone. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness.

Update: April 13, 2016 – This post was not meant to fan girl over Ghost Adventures. I just wanted to explain why you may see me tweet about watching it all the time. Besides it being my favorite show it relaxes me when I watch it. You are probably wondering, “What are you going to do if it ends?” One thing I have noticed about watching Ghost Adventures is no matter how many times you watch an episode it is just as exciting as watching it for the first time. Plus it is fun to experience your favorite episodes over and over.

 

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